"Haha! Americans don’t have free healthcare!"
Yeah it’s actually a serious problem people are literally dying can this stop being a silly nationalistic insult?
"We’re preparing you for the real world"
I don’t meant to alarm you but
the real world has calculators
"No matter how bad you fuck up at work, you didn’t fuck up this bad"
Very suspicious of people stealing his tail
oh my god toyota.
My girlfriend is snoozin’ on my chest rn and even though life has been giving us the shit end of the stick lately, I couldn’t really ask for more than to have her safe in my arms like this at the end of the day.
ways to get me into bed
1. have curly hair
2. wear a crown
thats it after that im so yours
HO L YSH IT